Saturday, 4 Jul 2015
Last weekend was a bad one.
So this has to be good. I hope. ☺
A less than 5 minutes talk last week with someone over the phone almost gave me heart attack. Good thing hub was beside me. Cooling me down.
Recording starts~~
3rd sis love Ah Bong alot. Ah Bong call her "gan mama" (Godmother) since young. 3rd sis asked me if she can bring him for a short trip to Thailand this coming August. I agreed but realised that his passport needs to be renewed. So an online renewal application was done.
Last Saturday was the collection appointment. The schedule was to meet Ah Bong at the collection center (Lavender) with myself as the consenting parent.
(Weekends is Papa's off day where he would bring Yurou to his own place over the weekend and return to my house at Yishun on Sunday)
Back to last Saturday. Hub and I got ready Yuxuan's stuff, trolley and ourselves. Preparing to collect Ah Bong's passport. (Mummies know how much stuff in the checklist to bring along with a baby)
Hub love the boys. Although not his own. But everyone in the family can see his effort and love towards them with his actions over the past 10 years and counting.
Times before I lost control over my boys, he will be the first one to cool me down. And trust me. He dont stop there. His continuing talk of telling me to be patience to my sons is consistent. He wont stop till I've cooled off / understood where he is coming from.
From a simple passport collection for Ah Bong. He want to accompany..
So we went. Took a cab down with hub and Yuxuan meeting Ah Bong there.
When we were there. Realized we didnt bring along Ah Bong's birth certificate. ๐ข Almost fainted. From Yishun to the ICA is about 45 minutes of car ride. Thought Ah Bong's NRIC will do....
A nice officer told us. Its ok so long both parents are aware and can verify that the child's collection of passport. Looking at me and hub, she told us, "Can. Since you and your hub are around" ๐ฎ๐ฎ๐ฎ
We looked at each other. A little silence.......
Then I quickly told the officer, but his father is not around. The nice lady told me, its still good so long as he is contactable via phone and can verify he is aware of the child's collection of passport.
Me at that moment ๐ฎ๐ฎ๐ฎ.
Been a long 5 years not talking to him. Cos hearing alot of him speaking ill to the boys about me whenever he see Ah Bong. So its better that a distance is kept I feel? Less damage.
He feels that I am inmature. He told me (after once he gave me a hard blow on my face on the firsr day of CNY in the public with my spects broke and flew),
After that incident, when he came to my dad's place pleading me to go back, he told me, my love for him is not strong enough. Because I cant withstand these little hiccups in a marriage. He said that is why our marriage failed.
Actually that time I thought he is right. And do kind of blame myself for being inmature. Not being a good wife. Creating so much drama. Why cant I keep quiet and have to let my family worry....
But is pain really. I could no longer stand it.
And many times those happened in front of my younger sisters. How to hide..
So upon hearing that from the officer that so long he is contactable via phone is fine too, I gave him a buzz..
This 'head' pop up. Shall attend to my boss first. She wants milk. She is looking at me smiling away now.๐
Ok. Back to him. He is actually a good talker I must say. 7 years my senior. His mom says even birds can be coaxed by his words. All willingly to come down from tree after listening to him.
I was asked, if I'm afraid that he will see my sharing here. No I am not. Because each and every things I've shared are true encounters. Told the person who asked me that, he can contest to what I've shared. I have no fear. With the countless police reports and medical reports I have? I have no fear.
Yes. I am still angry. Especially what happened last Saturday...
Called and told him on the renewal of Ah Bong passport. That the officer would be calling him in awhile to confirm and verify that he is aware of this.
That 1st call lasted for a minute. He seems good. But me feeling uneasy. Told Bong to text him telling him again.
Their conver went like this;
Bong: Later ICA officer will call u about my passport collection ok.
Ex: Where u going
Bong: Thailand with gan mama (3rd auntie) Actually school trip also but mummy dont allow. Say dangerous.
Ex: Thailand how many days?
Bong: 3 days
Ex: Ok. Take good care son. I will SUPPORT and love you forever.
So, seeing this I guess all is good?
The officer called him and came back telling us, she cant let us have the passport because he told the officer he dont allow because I am his ex spouse and he suspect I am bringing his son out of Singapore for good.
Oh wow.. Thought he told Bong he will SUPPORT him? There I was, all heated.
Was told I need to bring the court order indicating I was granted the care and control to Bong in this case. The officer is just doing her job its ok I understand.
But him? ๐ Hypocrite.๐
That means we need to make another trip again. Called him, asked him why is he doing this. He shouted real loud over the phone at me but all nice and lovely to Ah Bong through texts. ๐๐๐
Best part is. After that he told his mother, "Whatever she (me) want to do, dont let him know else he will sure mess it up for me" ๐จ How old already. 42 still behave this way.
We all age over the years. But we need to reflect consistently on ourself. After the marriage, didnt think all that happened was his fault entirely. I was also inmature to know how love should be at the age of 16 during the first marriage.
So with great disappointment we all went back. That day was a sunny hot day bringing Yuxuan along.. Thankful she is a good girl...
A day before the collection. Ah Wu teasing his brother for not able to see his doggie at the shelter due to this collection.๐
With no positive change in Ex's behaviour, my family members remains supportive. I am thankful.
At first I couldnt cool down. Hub was beside tried all ways... I cry because Ah Bong ran off.
Dont understand why he could not protect me by telling his father to behave what a father should be. Or a man should be.
On the phone with 3rd sis I was crying. Standing outside the building of ICA. Couldnt understand why he is doing these till now.
Continuing support from my sisters...๐ข I love them...
My Ah Wu.... Telling me his father is the last person I should seek help from.
So now this has become a joke.
I will tell my sons more like this? "Sons mummy will SUPPORT and LOVE you forever. But is just saying~~~~"
3rd sis had a talk with Ah Bong after that. And papa told me during that talk, both 3rd sis and Ah Bong cried so bad that they hugged each other.
The next day I practically ignored ah bong....
Till he hugged me from behind, "Mi... Sorry lah..." FIRST TIME HE DID THAT!๐ FIRST TIME after so long... Since he grow into a teen he no longer hug me.... ๐๐ Then I, "go away lah. Eat already or not" (acting angry) But 'arm song' (happy) in my heart.๐
I am not the best mother but I give my best.
When I left him there was only $20 bucks with me. Was a CNY. With no extra cash and was at a lost of whats next for me, I was into a depression for a week. Coping in my papa's room, not bathing for a week. Not doing anything. All bruises.
One week. Till a friend scolded me that I cant behave that way anymore. My sons are still so small. They rely on me to give them love and a happy childhood. She slapped me with more of her harsh words..
That day I stood up. Apart from working full time, worked another 2 part time jobs paying me $5 to $6 hourly everyday to night and all weekends. Actions not only words.
He withdrew all monies from our joint account leaving me with zero. With my family support and love I moved on bravely. Which I thought I cant initially... Broke down so many times..
Took up part time job as a Sales Assistant in a shop, $5 per hour till night, my feets are sore and smelly every night I reached home. My body was tired. My legs were in pain. Told myself those are all in the mind. I can do this. My legs are good. I am good.
Need and have to do this. They were still so small..
All these came back again last week. Mixture of anger, saddness and memories came back. What am I doing? Have I not move on? I searched within.
All in mind back then was winning the case in getting the care and control to my boys.
I dont want a share of the matrimonial house. I just want my boys. Told my family members crying, I must get their custodies with care and control. Cant lose them. Dont know how to continue with life without them by my side.
So I worked and worked to pay the lawyer. Because he contested so much in this. The case went on for so long.. So much were spent..
Yes. I successfully got their care and control.
But digging out those documentation now is like tearing my old wound apart one more time.
Found these..
Number of police reports I got abused by him. Those made after much persuasion by ex boss and family members..
Many more times were not reported because I thought I could still handle that pain.
When I dug out these, hub was besides. He told me, "ไธ่ฆ็ๅคชไน
。ๆพๅฐไบๅฐฑๆพไธ่พน" (dont read or go into it. Found the court order then keep the rest imed)
Ok.....
Sis sent this I happy already.... Still cant believe my younger sis gave birth to this sweet little thing.... ๐๐๐
๐๐๐ My love....
That day hub gave baking class to the girls.๐ Success. Watermelon bread. We all went crazy.๐
Yes. Me and my daughter.๐
World best brother in law cooks for the whole family....๐
2nd sis and 2nd bro in law. With one not so keen baby and another very keen baby.๐
Meredith be like, "Again?"๐
One of my happy pill..๐
Baobei.. ๐
This girl birthday approaching. 26 Jul she's turning 4.
Time files...
Hub is pestering me whats my plan for his 'girlfriend' birthday. Kns. My birthday also never see him this enthusiastic.๐๐
Placing and seeing them side by side is happiness... We hope they will be as loving like us.
Have their own groupchat, love each other...
Am ok now. Thank you all for your encouraging note. Will continue to give my best as a Mattherr.๐
By the way, have lots of baby clothings and items to give away. Most are new and some are worn by Yuxuan and Meredith.
Please leave me an email if you know of friends who need them ya. Will take some pics later.
Pick up will be at Khatib station. Or best is at the void deck of 863 Yishun Ave 4. ๐
Doo this. Bought it 2 weeks before Yuxuan's arrival. Never thought she is a mild temper baby.
So its considered new. Got 3 sarongs (pink colour) to go along with it too. ๐
Please drop me an email if you want or know any friend wants k.
My email is pearlang_4@hotmail.com
This play gym Josh bought for Yuxuan. Kept it nice and clean in its original bag.
He bought for about 60 bucks from OG. Just hope can give good things to other baby nicely.
Some other stuff. Cant take all pictures. Me and sis didnt get to use them.
Bags and boxes of clothings for baby girl. 0 to 6 months. ๐
We all know our Meredith cant wear now.... Although she belongs to this group.๐๐๐
Yuxuan on Mere's bed the other day.
Chosing which one to bring home.๐๐
Ok. Thats her choice. Mummy take mummy take.๐
My favourite picture... Happy parents..
Niau brought the boys and our niece (2nd sis's daughter) out the other day. They had fun!๐
The baby items are all chopped and reserved for 3 ladies! Thank you for accomodating on the pick up location. Thanks! For the 3 ladies who received my revert. Do reply to my email soon ya. : )
Today and tomorrow am good to pass you girls. ๐
Just to tie up this post,
Girls, note this.
A man who love his parents and family will love and respect you equally.
During that failed marriage of mine, each month I would have to secretly pass ex MIL monthly allowance without ex knowing.
One time I was asked by him about the monies, told him a sum was given to his mum. To think he flared up.
Told me, "ๅๅๅฅน็ฅ็ป็ๅฆ。ไธ็จ็ปๅฅนๅคชๅค็ๅฆ" (he said his mother is crazy dont need to give her too much monthly allowance) ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐
My goodness. I'll be devasted if my sons were to say this to their wives. Ex MIL looked after Ah Wu so well when we were at work.
So girls. This is one example to look out for in a man.
Sijie's eyes last time got stamps pasted on.๐ Dont be like me ah...
Night all. ๐
Hahaha! Hub just say me, "ไฝ ๆไน้ธ็ๆฏๅไธๆๅฑๅ" Cos I keep telling him I wanna bath liao. I bath first, I bath first. But here I am still dayre ing. ๐๐๐ So he complains. Say I reserved the toilet but not ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ
๐๐๐ Chao ah tiong.
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